1/2 of his life

Well, today marks a very exciting day.  We have officially had Brandon Tsedeke for 1/2 of his life. This means for 1/2 of his life he has woken up and seen our faces there loving him, we have been the ones to meet all his needs, and he has been there to brighten our lives with his adorably charming smile and personality.

Now, I had built this day up in my head for a long time.  I felt like it would be such a big deal when we have had him for over 1/2 of his life.  And it is exciting to know that he has been with us longer then anyone else but....

I have found that I don't count the days or months that he has been with us anymore.  I know on Feb. 17, 2010 that I will celebrate the anniversary of the day I finally held him in my arms (I held him in my heart for much longer) and that on February 21 that we will celebrate family day as this is the day we all came together as a family of 5, but ....

I just don't thing of it in terms of how long he has been with us.  He just is part of our family and really I don't think much beyond that.  Life is so much better with him in it (and more challenging b/c man he is in to everything).

So, now off to work on his life book.  I am good at it and then I stop but my goal is to have it done by February 2010 so I'd better get going.

Christmas Tree Sell Out

So, I heard on the news that mom and pop Christmas tree places are going out of business because places like Home Depot are now selling trees.

I decided I would go to a local place.  The news said the trees were about 5 dollars more at these mom and pop places.  So we went.  For a 6-7 ft. tree they wanted 73 dollars (or 79).  So we said, well lets go to Home Depot and see.  The same 6-7 ft. tree was 40 and I had a 10 dollar off coupon to Ace Hardware that they would take.

So, I went with the cheaper tree (by over half) and ordered pizza for dinner that night and it still was cheaper then a tree at the mom and pop place.

I feel bad but that is a lot more money - not just 5 dollars.

Next year we are driving in to the mountains to cut one down.

Pics of decorating our tree soon.  I am slow and getting pics downloaded.

Wow, thanks to our parents

Well, 4 weeks and 1 day ago I had my 2nd surgery on my achilles in the last 10 months.

Last time I took it easy for about 3 or 4 days and then was up and doing things non stop.

This time we decided I would take it easy so it would get better so I don't have to do this again and so
that it gets well enough not to rupture.

So, my Mom came followed by Andrew's folks.

For 4 1/2 weeks I have had another adult or more in my house.  Now, the help is SO incredibly nice but I am a control freak and like doing things my way.  I was worried if I would go crazy.  I have had some stir crazy days where I needed to get out of the house and days I wanted to take back control over my house hold (since it is my job and it is hard letting others do your job) but overall it has gone great.  I prayed and prayed about this and I am so thankful that God answered my prayers on this in so many ways!

I had a great time with my Mom and my in-laws and the help they provided was incredible and for it Andrew &; I are so grateful.  All 3 of them did so much to help make our lives easier while I laid around. They cooked, cleaned, carted my children around, tried to keep up with Brandon Tsedeke, etc.

We are so lucky to have parents that were willing to come out and help for over 2 weeks each.  My Dad had it easy as he had to work so he stayed at home but when he retires and comes to visit I'll have a to do list for him. :)

I've never seen my Mom look so tired.  She went and went and went.  So did Andrew's folks.

But they got to know their grandchildren better and that is more valuable then anything they did out here.  Each enjoyed their walks to and from school with Logan.  Each enjoyed special walks with Brandon after dropping Logan off, time reading to Kendra and listening to her talk non-stop.  Kendra and my MIL are best buds.  Last night before they left Kendra came crying into the room and jumped in Grandma's lap to tell her she did not want her to go.

Thanks Mamaw, Grandpa, and Grandma!  How lucky are we to be blessed with such wonderful parents!  We love you all!

Absolutely Incredible - The Difference Compassion Can Make

Hi all,

This is an incredible video about the difference a Compassion sponsor made in a young man's life.  Watch his reaction as he meets him for the 1st time.  We think we can't make a difference, but oh we can.  Have you thought of sponsoring a child?  It is 35 / month.  That is less then one time eating out a month.   Is there a country that you has a special place in your heart.  If so, see if you can sponsor a child there.  We picked two countries that are dear to our hearts - Ethiopia and India.

Go here (http://www.vimeo.com/7072300).

I hope you watch this video and have tissues near by.

Hair

So, I love Brandon Tsedeke's hair. I think it is so incredibly cute. I am waiting for it to grow in on the sides. It was shaved when he was 4 1/2 - 5 months old and has grown in on the top and back but not on the sides. It is finally starting to grow in on the sides but it is still straight. When we finally held him in our arms for the first time last February, I was amazed at how straight his hair was. As it has grown it has become curly. The back is a tighter curl and the top is a bigger, loser curls.

When we decided to adopt fro Ethiopia my sister told me that I needed to know how to do African hair. Now, folks may think it is easy because I have a boy and I think it is easier but we are growing it out so it is not super easy. I try to read on the best ways to do his hair. I use Carol's Daughter product right now. There is a boy in Logan's class and I love his hair. He is what I hope I can do to BT's hair. He is 6 and has had one hair cut to trim it up. His curls are incredible and it is just so stinkin' cute. His mom uses mixed chicks. I may try this product when I am out of Carol's Daughter to see what I like better.

But for right now I refuse to cut his hair. We have good hair days and bad hair days and he does not love having it combed (but Kendra did not like having her hair combed at 18 months either).

I wash,condition, and brush his hair on Sundays. Since I have not been able to bathe them Andrew has been doing it. He was washing and conditioning but I could not understand why his hair looked so bad. Then I realized I had forgot to tell him to brush it. Oops. So the next time he had conditioner in his hair he brushed it out and it looked so much better.

BT does not like his hair brushed. With conditioner in it it actually brushes pretty easy but I need to keep him distracted to do it. I know I could cut it and it would be easier but I refuse. I just love it. It is just too cute!

It is funny because in his referral pic he was completely bald. When L&K see that pic they often think it is Zinabu b/c they are used to seeing BT with hair.

I have also struggled with Kendra's hair. It is super long and there are times she wants to cut it (mainly when others are getting their hair cut and she feels left out) but I tell her she has to tell me for a whole month before we will cut it. And I really don't want to because I think her hair so so long and beautiful. I have told her to have long hair she has to let me brush it. It used to be a battle but now she is good with letting me brush it and understands she needs to condition it so it brushes easier. Right now she only wants to wear it in a pony tail so she can pull it tight. It used to be only in a braid. It is fun because it is so long we can do so many things with it when she lets us.

So here is a pic of BT's curls. Aren't they super cute. There are also 2 pics of his hair from last February. And a picture of a pumpkin we saw why trick or treating. Pretty impressive.

Happy Halloween

Hi, I know it is past time but I finally got pics downloaded from Halloween.

So, about our costumes.
1st - Brandon was the only one who got a new one.
2nd - L&K had to use a costume from our dress up clothes.
3rd - L&K suckered my Mom in to buying face paint for them.
4th - Logan wanted to be something scary and I did not feel like 6 was an appropriate age to be something scary.
5th - Andrew & I had to sell the idea of reusing costumes and came up with the story that Logan would be a helicopter pilot and wear his authentic fighter pilot suit (his thank you gift for being in my cousin Kate's wedding) and he had been shot down and killed. He came back as a zombie.
6th - Even though I was against them being something scary I painted their faces as a zombie and Kendra as a vampire (she was a ballerina vampire riding a unicorn pegasus).

Anyway, Happy November. My in-laws are here and we are having a great time. I am off of crutches. I was on crutches during Halloween so my sweet husband surprised me with a wheel chair so I could go trick or treating :) So nice. And I never posted but I had surgery on my Achilles and calf for the second time.

Too Small To Ignore

So, I started reading the book "Too Small To Ignore - Why the Least of These Matter" by Dr. Wes Stafford. He is the President and CEO of Compassion International. We, as a family, sponsor 2 children through Compassion International. Our little boy is a 6 year old boy who lives in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. Our little girl is a 9 year old girl who lives in India.

When I first wanted to sponsor a child Andrew was not super thrilled. He let me do it but his heart was not in it. Fast forward 1 1/2 years to the day we met Samuel - our beautiful little boy in Addis Ababa. Andrew totally believes in Compassion and what it is doing. Why, because it makes a difference. We saw the light in his eyes. The love and gratitude in his parents face and their expressions of love towards us. Why, because we saw poverty (he is the poor of the poor) and realized we need to make a difference and that the money we give monthly is making a difference in this family. Because they were saving money we had given Samuel to a time when they needed it and this is as they (a family of 6) lived in a maybe 10 x 10 room. Below are pics of us with our sweet Samuel. Don't you love his smile. We love him and pray for him nightly!

I just started reading this book but the beginning of it got to me so I wanted to share.

Late one evening D.L. Moody, the premier American evangelist of the 1800s, arrived home from speaking at a meeting. Emma, his wife, was already asleep. As her exhausted husband climbed into bed, she rolled over and murmured, "So how did it go tonight?"

"Pretty well," he replied. "Two and a half coverts."

His wife lay silently for a moment pondering this response, then finally smiled. "That's sweet," she replied. "How old was the child?"

"No, no, no," Moody answered. "It was two children and one adult! The children have their whole lives in front of them. The adult's life is already half-gone."


We are called to help the least of these. They should not be forgotten. What can you do to make a difference? There are so many ways. It can even be seeing a child and smiling and confirming their worth. It can be sponsoring a child through Compassion. It can be whatever will make a difference! So come one - help make a difference in the life of a child.

Pumpkin Patches and Such

So, we have gone to 2 pumpkin patches as a family (Logan also went to one for his school field trip). The first one was in Half Moon Bay and it was cool but super expensive. Logan and Kendra rode ponies and Brandon Tsedeke did a train ride. We also did a super cool corn maze. We then went to hang out with some other Ethiopian adoptive families on the beach which was a lot of fun.

The next weekend we went up to Petaluma and went to the coolest pumpkin patch. It was out on a farm and it was incredible. It was gorgeous and affordable (unlike Half Moon Bay). We were there several hours. We dug for potatoes, milked a cow, climbed hay stacks, saw animals, did a corn maze, sat in old horse drawn carriages, went on a hay ride, went on a horse drawn carriage, ate pumpkin ice cream, and picked our pumpkins from the vine. Logan picked a huge pumpkin. Brandon liked to throw the pumpkins. Kendra took a long time finding the perfect pumpkin.

It was so much fun. We followed up that day by going to the beach and playing. It was just one of those days that rock.

Here are some recent pics

I must look like his mother

So last week we were in the mall, standing there all 5 of us together looking like one very happy cute family. I was holding B. An African American lady walked by us and B waved (he waves to everyone). She looked at us and then to her friends and said "I must look like his mom."

Now, how do you react to this? I just looked at L & K and said "She is silly, she does not look like me."

I think I was surprised but Andrew was a little annoyed. A we walked on we ran into another African American lady and she was like "what a lovely family you have." This made us feel great. We do have a beautiful family.

In NC there was a lady who went to our Church who had triplets. She was from Trinidad and had a similar coloring to Andrew. Her triplets were all blond. Folks always came up to her and said "Wow, you are a nanny for triplets."

I think folks should assume the child is with their mother and refer to the woman holding, playing with the child as the Mommy. If they are wrong, the nanny can always correct them.

But I know I have said dumb things too. I just wish folks would think about how their comments might effect the children who are hearing it. Me, I can handle it. I do think I responded in a way that was positive for L&K (B is too young to get it).

Enjoy your weekend. It is beautiful weather here in CA.

Unexplained, Explained

Sometimes I think back to the years Andrew & I tried for our 3rd child. After struggling we were finally diagnosed with unexplained secondary infertility. There is no medical reason why we could not get pregnant.

Then I look at my precious son and I am like okay, it is explained. We could not have another child because our sons were not supposed to come from my womb. God had a different plan in store for us. A path I am pretty sure we would not have taken unless we went through the struggles of trying to have a 3rd child.

After Kendra was born I did not feel like our family was complete. We started trying for a 3rd pretty soon after she was born. When the months turned in to a year plus it was heart breaking b/c I felt like we were not done and did not understand why God placed this desire on my heart yet was not allowing it to happen.

If Andrew and I had not been able to conceive a 2nd child I know adoption or infertility would have been something we pursued because we wanted Logan to have a brother or a sister but we had 2 and Logan and Kendra had each other. Andrew felt like he could be done yet this feeling that our family was not complete remained.

This is where I see God's hand come in to play. The desire for another one is really what pushed us towards adoption. The fact that this desire would not go away and I was not willing to give up on having another child.

His plan was to build our family in His own unique and special way.

Now, I feel done. Sure, at times I would like another child to hold, to breast feed, to snuggle with, but our family feels complete now. That longing for another one is almost gone (well, for Andrew it is completely gone - he is done w/ 3, unless God has other plans in store for us).

Before I used to wish God had put the call to adopt on our hearts in a much easier way but then I look at where we are now and how we have grown and I am so thankful for the valley we journeyed through.

I am so thankful we were not able to conceive after Kendra. I am thankful we were able to conceive and have our precious Logan and Kendra.

My kids are incredible. What a precious gift and how lucky are we that we get to be there Mommy and Daddy.

Referraliversary

One year ago, at 3:08* I received a call from our agency. I was expecting a call because I had asked them to call and they had emailed me so I called and got voicemail and said please call me. Like I said in my last post Andrew and I were not for sure what to do as referrals were not coming and we had to move and we did not want to start the whole USCIS process again in CA. After Zinabu passed away and we went back on the list we said we were still open to either gender and were told we were first in line for boy or girl. I have to say this was hard for me because I knew many had been waiting longer then us for a girl. I went back and forth with Andrew about if this was right and in the end I decided to just let our agency make that call. We never imagined it would be almost 3 months till we got our next referral.

But one year ago the day finally came. I never posted about this since I shared our referral with very few people. But I was in my car on the way home from a play date when they called. Before I was even able to start saying anything our contact from our agency said "I have some news. I have a referral." She tried to say his name and then said it was a boy and then spelled his name. She said it has been coming but they did not want to say anything till it was complete but if the information had not come in they were going to tell us anyway. She gave me all the information about our little boy. I was shaking again. I was so happy. I started calling Andrew and he was in a meeting but I did not care. I kept calling and calling until he answered. Finally he did and I told him we had another son. Of course, when I finally get a hold of him, Kendra throws a toy spider out the window and is crying for me to go back so it was hard to talk to him. I told him I would pick up Logan from the bus stop and we would come and look at his picture together. Well, when I got home I checked my email and there was one with Tsedeke in the title. I wanted to look but didn't. I called my friend Beth and cancelled our play date. I had cancelled before w/ her because L was sick and on the day Zinabu died and she asked if everything was okay and I told her it was good and she asked if it was phone call good and I said yes. So we drove to meet Andrew & L&K were too busy drawing on the white board to see what we were doing. We saw his picture and he was so cute. We video taped this only to realize neither of us pressed record. But we showed the kids and they were confused but then we told them who he was and they were so excited.

So here are the 2 pics we saw of our son last year on this wonderful day and one from today when we went apple picking!





*If you are wondering how I knew the exact time, well, I wrote a letter to our sweet son the day we received his referral and the day we passed court. I am so glad I did because there are details of that day that I have forgotten and when I read these letters I get to relive it all over again

One year ago today

We were at our ropes end with the adoption. I had emailed our agency asking them to call me b/c I needed to talk to them. Of course, I only got an email so I then called but I got voice mail. Andrew and I did not know what to do. We had to be out in CA by March 15 and with no referrals in sight (only promises of soon for the last 2 1/2 + months) we did not know if we could go on with an adoption. In our hearts I don't think we would have given up but we just did not know what to do. We did not want to separate our family either and there had not been a referral for an infant since Zinabu (which was 6/2). We had lost faith in our agency and their ability to have referrals.

I had hoped to have a referral before courts opened but that did not happen. I had spent the Friday before in bed all day crying. Crying over my son who was in Heaven, crying over our next child which I thought would never happen.

But then tomorrow came (more on that tomorrow) and our lives were, again, forever changed!

Blogs for a Cause - Blog Remake

So, my blog is under going a remake by Nikki Cochrane.

Money is much tighter for our family since moving out to CA and we are trying to save when we can and spend less when we can. Our kids will not get new Halloween costumes (well Brandon is b/c it is his 1st Halloween with us) or new Christmas outfits this year. I actually find that they really don't care too much. I mean I think L&K would both like to get new costumes but we said no and they are fine. I may try and do a costume switch with another friend whose oldest 2 are the same gender and age as mine so the costumes may not be brand new but they will be new to our children.

So, why am I telling you this as I spend money getting my blog redone. Check out Nikki's blog - http://www.madebynikki.blogspot.com/
She is using the money raised from redoing folks blogs (and yes I know you can do them out there for free now) to volunteer in the Dominican Republic. What a great way to help out someone who is serving others. So check out her site and maybe while you are at it get a blog make over.

Next post is thoughts on making B's Life Book!

I am Done :)

Last Friday we applied for BT's social security number and passport and that completes all adoption paperwork (minus the updates to Ethiopia) that I have to do! It feels so good to be done with it all!

Logan is doing Cub Scouts and spent 2 hours selling popcorn. How stinkin' cute is he (well I can't find the cable to connect the camera to the PC so you will have to wait to see it but boy is he cute)! Andrew said he did great selling the popcorn. He went up to everyone and said "Hi, My name is Logan. I am in Cub Scouts and I am selling popcorn to help my den." Andrew said several folks would walk by and he would go after them and they would come back. He was too cute. I only was there about 10 minutes and I thought he did great. A few folks would walk by w/out looking or acknowledging him. This ticked me off. I wanted to be like "at least give my son the courtesy to look at him and say no." This is why Andrew went and not me.

We went to the beach this Sunday. Ton of fun! We are doing well. Getting involved and doing our best to make CA home.

American Citizen

BT is officially a citizen of the Unite States of America!

Yeah! We got his certificate of citizenship yesterday in the mail.

Now just on to the SSN and passport! Then I am done except reports
to our adoption agency. :) Yeah and the reports are fun b/c I get to
write about my precious son!

Now on to the life book. My goal is to have it done by our one year anniversary of
having him with us! 5 months to go. I'd better get to work. I just need to find
time and energy.